Liza Blue Humorist

Dumbest Player on the Hockey Team

What was the physician thinking when he put this into the medical record?

Reasonably Flat Surfaces That Could Be Used For Forced Idleness Ads

Marketers view forced idleness, such as standing in  lines, as an opportunity for advertising.  The airport experience, where ads are slathered onto every flat surface, is the epitome of forced idleness advertising.

Only to Find Gideon’s Bible

Who are these Gideons and why do they keep leaving their Bibles in hotel rooms?

Mind Trip

Staying sharp and keeping an engaged mind on a long road trip is a tricky business!

In the System

What kind of mistake did I make in giving our government access to my precious fingerprints?

The Man with the Sun-Damaged Skin

As I looked at the man in front of me, I tried to think like Darwin.  What is the evolutionary advantage of our sun-sensitive skin?

Four Misnomers and One God’s Honest Truth

Daylight savings time, the PATRIOT Act, Starbuck’s Tall drinks, Sit Back Relax and Enjoy the Flight and Imitation Crabmeat.

5 Best Idioms Using the Word Shit

There are so many to choose from, which are the best?

Open Letter to Stephen Hawking

A knitter’s advice to Stephen Hawking on how to simplify astrophysics.

MFOs (Mandatory Family Obligations)

Here are five simple strategies to make sure your mandatory family obligations don’t turn into mother-fucking ordeals.