Liza Blue Humorist

Marketing Unplugged: Madagascar Vanilla

My menu says the vanilla in the creme brulee comes from Madagascar.  What should I do with this information?  Have I been eating crap vanilla my entire life?

Dear Kid on My Son’s Soccer Team

Don’t hate me for it, but when I was a frustrated soccer mom I slipped a lemon slice into the cut-up oranges.

Dear Caitlyn Jenner

What does Caitlyn Jenner tell us about being a woman?

Marketing Unplugged: No Needle No Scalpel Vasectomy

No needle no scalpel vasectomy sounds too good to be true!

Marketing Unplugged: Roasted Black Garlic Potato Chips

Dissecting the dissembling marketing claims of a humble bag of potato chips.

Dear Mr. Manfred, Major League Baseball Commissioner

A plea to major league baseball to make the sport interesting again.

People Sitting in Front of Me: The Bald Man

What can you deduce from the backs of people’s head sitting in front of you.  What about this bald man?

Open Letter to Dos Equis Beer

Dos Equis is retiring their current “Most Interesting Man in the World” spokesperson.  Now is the time to replace him with a truly interesting man.  I nominate the inventor of the vacuum cleaner.

Easing Into the Back Nine of Life

The anticipated joy of my unencumbered 60s was disrupted by a steady stream of promotions for a prepaid cremation!

Last One Picked

The agonies of being the captain of our grade school softball team – I had to stigmatize one of my classmates as the “Last One Picked.”